Well I finally did it, it took some coercing, but I finally made my self sit down and start the bible. And it was a pretty decent reading session, I made it through about 20 chapters or so of Genesis, and then fell asleep. It's funny how a new beginning can put you to sleep.
I wanted to go through and give a detailed account of what I underlined, thought, and found interesting, but I don't have my bible with me. Those bible books are so damn huge they weigh me down on my bike ride to school. So, I have two bible, one for school and one
for home. However there's a catch: there not the same bible. At first I thought this might be a big deal, now I don't think it'll matter; either one is some sort of holy scripture right? I have the HC Study Bible on campus, but at home I'm reading Oxford Worlds Classics, "The Bible: Authorized King James Version with Apocrypha," I believe from the 1611 translation. It's edited by Robert Carroll and Stephen Prickett and contains lengthy intros from each.
What I've already found I like more about my home bible - it sounds so weird saying "my ___ bible", I've only been to church twice in my life! - than the study bible is the simplicity of the print on the page. Rather than cram a ton of extra, distracting information in teeny tiny print on the bottom half of each page, the oxford bible is nothing but, bible. Each page still has two columns but there is no footnotes. Which I understand is valuable, interesting information; however, I'm an extreme bible newbie and so the simpler the better for my w'ittle bible brain.
Of what I read, I was actually surprised at how much I was familiar with already: the creation, adam and eve, fruit of knowledge, the snake, the flood and Noah's arc, and cain and abel. The hardest sections to read are definitely the "begot" sections. "Djvfsj begot fjffjsnjd, and he lived for 600 years, Ybfisskvns begot Jnfbshvsdvf, who begot Bdfbhebf and he begot Lmfninvfsdin, and their generation lived for 900 years." Ok! I get it! There's been a ton of people in this world since day one, but I'm not gonna remember all their names, at least right now anyways. I'll admit I was a little bored with the begot sections, which makes me the boring one at that time, but if I don't get thrilled and interested by genealogies until I'm a grandfather, that's fine by me.
As for the narratives and images, the bible is full of 'em: drunken people, naked people, angry people, floods that cover mountains, birds flying; and my favorite thus far: the image of god confusing the language of the people at Babel and scattering them all over the place. Imagine it, a group of people all talking amongst themselves and them wham! everyone's speaking a different language and has no idea what everyone else is saying; chaos, entropy, hilarious. And I can see the puppet master laughing from the clouds.
And now, a personal story; I've really only ever been to church twice in my life, never with my own parents always with friend's families. Reading the bible reminded me of this so I must share. I think it was the HUGE, and I mean HUGE church out south 19th just past Kagy that I went to. And when I went, their complex was only about half as big, hmmm interesting. So my fiends parents made us dress up and look nice, do our hair and everything, and get up way earlier than I ever do on sunday, except when I cook. I remember we arrived at the church and I immediately felt out of place: no one knew me, I didn't know anyone, I was probably 13, 14, or 15 at the time and completely oblivious to the church experience.
We found our seats and the preaching got started, on a big screen. Yup that's right, even when I was ten years younger the church was rich enough to have the highest tech tvs and projectors and sound systems. All this was in perfect sync with the priest and all I could think was how badass the new bond movie would be on their massive television. After only god knows how long of preaching, they finally handed out snacks, or at least that's what I thought. And so when my cracker reached me, munch, I had that sucker between my teeth before the basket reached the next person. My friend leaned over and said, "dude, you're not supposed to eat that yet, it's a sacrifice, everyone eats together." Sure enough, I looked around and no one else had put the tiny cracker in their mouth yet. So I carefully spit it out into my hand, embarrassed though no one really noticed me. I remember looking at the half-eaten cracker in my hand, now mushy and falling apart with no salt left on it - a horrible cracker and even worse sacrifice when I think back on it now. When it came time for everyone to eat their crackers mine looked so unappetizing that I pretended to eat it and then stealthily smeared it on the bottom of my seat, like gum under the desk.
Looking back the whole experience seems absolutely absurd and hilarious. Luckily no one from my friend's family noticed and I doubt really cared; but still, it was a morning I'll never forget.
